By Art BuchwaldTuesday, June 13, 2006; Page C03

A broomstick in my closet was missing. I asked someone about it and he said, "Ann Coulter took it."
"What did she do with it?" I asked.

"She's flying around on it as a witch, looking for more 9/11 widows for a follow-up book called 'The Coulter Code.' "

I said, "She's a very busy witch. This is her fifth broomstick."

He said, "She loves to ride around attacking anyone who will help her sell books. She went on the 'Today' show defending her statements about the widows and said the four were part of the 'left's doctrine of infallibility' and 'they were using their grief to make a political point while preventing anyone from responding.' "

"I saw something like that," I said. "Didn't she also say that all the widows wanted to do was make millions of dollars? She said, 'These broads are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by grief-arazzis. I've never seen people enjoying their husbands' deaths so much.' "

I continued, "Coulter doesn't mention how much money she hopes to make on the book. Do you think she's crossed the line?"

"That's one of her specialties -- crossing the line. She's done it in her other books, on television and radio, and in her column. Even Bill O'Reilly said she went too far over the line."
I said, "I call her the Witch of 9/11. I don't even like her hair."

"Why not?"

"It gets tangled up in her broomstick."

"Why are we spending so much time on her?"

"She's the most right-wing conservative we know. Did you know Coulter told a reporter, 'My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times building'? When she was asked later whether she regretted that statement, she said, 'Of course I regret it. I should have added, 'after everyone had left the building except the editors and the reporters.' "

"I wonder if she's still looking for 9/11 widows? Once she crossed that line, she could say anything she wanted to about 9/11."

"Are you going to buy her book?"

"No way. I'm a liberal and she's a born-again hater. She even said about the 9/11 widows, 'How do we know their husbands weren't planning to divorce these harpies? Now that their shelf life is dwindling, they'd better hurry up and appear in Playboy.' "


"I heard Bill O'Reilly say the other night, 'Stop Ann Coulter before she bombs again. Most Americans reject that kind of vitriol because it is mean and counterproductive. So, if Ann Coulter is trying to persuade people to her view, the personal attacks are foolish.' "

"Where do you think Ann Coulter buys all her broomsticks?"

"Probably at Wal-Mart. That's where she bought them for her other books."